Mothercare: On Obligation, Love, Death, and Ambivalence

Summary

Brilliantly original novelist and cultural critic Lynne Tillman became one of nearly 53 million Americans who care for a sick family member when her mother developed an unusual and little understood condition called Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus.

Instantly, Tillman's independent and spirited mother went from someone she knew to someone else, a woman entirely dependent on her children—an eleven-year process through which her mother underwent many surgeries and some misdiagnoses, while the family navigated consultations and confrontations with doctors, adjusting to the complexity of her cognitive issues, including memory loss.

With her notoriously exquisite writing style and reputation as a "rich noticer of strange things" (Colm Toíbín), Tillman describes, without flinching, the unexpected, heartbreaking, and frustrating years of caring for a sick parent.

Mothercare is both a cautionary tale and sympathetic guidance for anyone who suddenly becomes a caregiver, responsible for the life of another—a parent, loved or not, or a friend. This story may be helpful, informative, consoling, or upsetting, but it never fails to underscore how impossible it is to get the job done completely right.