Sliding into Sin: Grace, Grease, and the Great Greasequake

Summary

Pope Blatantly IV wishes to return to the papal autocracy of the Middle Ages. He devises a threefold plan: 1) to enforce universal Catholic geographical supremacy, 2) to criminalize sin, and 3) to ban “grease” in favor of doctrinal “dryness.” The Pope’s outlandish initiatives include annexing Antarctica using a team of bodybuilders and gluing borders, and monetizing salvation through Indulgences 2.0 and Pre-Death Canonizations. In opposition to the Pope’s extravagant claims, the “Grease Underground,” is formed. The leader is the Grease Prophet Frank, who champions cosmic viscosity and rebellion, and who is assisted by apostles, monks, and an alcoholic priest whose miraculous flask heals the dryness. The conflict culminates in a “Greasequake,” which triggers the forced resignation of Blatantly IV, and the final scene suggests a return to theological harmony as Grace and Grease emulsify.